Reading to Revise
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Below you will find descriptions of three different reading scenarios to help you focus on the treatment of subject, audience, and purpose in your essay. There are also a number of questions to help you revise your style. You may prefer to read your essay four separate times focusing on each facet. Or you may find that subject, audience, purpose, and style are so closely intertwined that you need to keep all four in your head at once. At the end you will find advice for creating a revision agenda. You may create four separate agendas or combine the readings into one revision agenda.
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From Trimmer's Writing With a Purpose |
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Reading for Subject
Imagine you are seated in the waiting room of your dentist’s office, flipping through several magazines, looking for something to read to pass the time. What subjects attract and sustain your attention? Now pick up your writing and skim through it as quickly as possible. Then put it aside and, maintaining your identity as an “impatient patient,” jot down your general reactions using the following questions as a guide. Conversely, you may ask a peer to read your essay in this identity.
1. Why was I attracted to this essay? How did the title or the first few sentences—the lead—convince me that the essay was worth reading?
2. What is the specific subject of the essay? Did the essay focus on the subject immediately, or did I have to read a lot of preliminary material or prolonged digressions?
3. What is significant about the subject? Is it a something I like reading about, one that I need to know about, or one I ought to think about? Why?
4. What makes the subject interesting—the attitude of the writer, the nature of the subject, or the way the subject is presented?
5. Does the essay seem the right length? Is it long enough to answer all my questions yet short enough to keep my mind from wandering?
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Reading for Audience
Now imagine you are seated in a large banquet hall listening to an after-dinner speech. You cannot avoid listening to the speech, so you decide to see how it’s going over—how effectively the speaker has read the needs and expectations of the audience. One way to simulate this situation is to read your writing out loud to anyone who will listen—the important thing is to HEAR your writing. You may read it only a tape and play it back for yourself.
1. What kinds of people does the speaker expect to find in the audience? Does the speech acknowledge their values, assumptions, and prejudices?
2. What role does the speaker invite the members of the audience to take (for example, that of dedicated, discerning people)?
3. What are the members of the audience likely to know about the subject of the speech?
4. Does the speaker ask questions that the audience would ask about the subject? Does the speaker answer those questions when they need to be answered? Does the speaker anticipate challenging or hostile questions?
5. Does the speaker help the audience focus on the subject and follow the development of the parts? Where might the audience get bored, confused, or annoyed? Does the end echo and fulfill the promise of the beginning?
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Reading for Purpose
Imagine you are seated in an attorney’s office about to sign a contract that will have an enormous impact on your life. You must determine what the thesis of this contract promises and whether the various sections and subsections deliver on that promise. Read your writing slowly and deliberately, underlining your thesis and tracing its connection to each major topic in your essay. If there are sections that need to be rewritten, rearranged, or deleted, now is the time for renegotiation. The following guidelines will remind you of the purpose of the “contract” and call your attention to how that purpose is carried out in its various “clauses.”
1. Does the essay rest on hidden and undocumented assumptions? How can these assumptions be introduced into the wording of the essay?
2. What is the purpose of the essay? Is that purpose expressed openly, or must it be inferred from the text?
3. What is the thesis of the essay? What specific promise does it make to its readers? Is the thesis sufficiently restricted, unified, and precise that it can be demonstrated?
4. Does the body of the essay fulfill the promise of the thesis? Is there a direct, logical, and dramatic connection among the various parts?
5. Is each part of the essay sufficiently developed with evidence that is germane, reliable, and verifiable? Does new evidence need to be introduced to clarify the thesis?
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Guidelines for Revising Your Style
1. What is my general impression of my writing? Do I find; my writing clear, unambiguous, and likely to engage my readers? Have I carried out my purpose at every level; that is, am I satisfied that the HOW of my writing—its attitude, organization, and language—conveys the WHAT of my ideas?
2. What tone have I established in my writing? Is my tone informative, affective, or a blend of both? How much distance have I maintained between myself and my readers? Is my tone appropriate for my subject and audience? Is it maintained consistently?
3. How can I characterize the overall style of my writing? Have I written this essay in a moderate style, opting for more or less colloquialism or formality as my purpose requires? Does my purpose in fact require me to be overtly colloquial or formal?
4. Are my sentences well constructed and easy on the ear? Have I written sentences varying in length and style so that they hold my readers’ interest? Have I avoided the choppiness that comes from too many basic or loosely coordinated sentences? Have I avoided the density that comes from too many complicated sentences with multiple subordinate clauses?
5. Have I used words as effectively as possible? Do the connotations and denotations of my words support my purpose? Have I avoided unnecessary formalities and slang? Is my language specific and, when appropriate, vivid? Have I inadvertently mixed metaphors? Have I used imagery successfully to heighten effects, not merely to strive after them?
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Revision Agenda
Write out answers to the following questions. Remember that revision is both intuitive and recursive. You will have sudden hunches and impulses to make changes that just look or seem or sound better. Likewise, you will move in and rewrite, then step back, see how the altered detail changes the composition as a whole, then move in and revise again. Some changes will be minute, such as tweaking syntax in a phrase, or more holistic, such as elevating the style or tailoring to a more hostile or less informed audience.
1. What did I try to do in this draft?
2. What are its strengths?
3.What are its weaknesses?
4. What revisions do I want to make in my next draft? For example, you might write “Collapse the second and third paragraphs together,” “Provide more explication and evidence in the fifth paragraph,” “Make the introduction more intriguing.”
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